I thought perhaps, some of you may wonder about who runs this page; this blog. I may be wrong, but I wanted to let you know anyway so you could decide for yourselves if you’d like to continue to follow.I’m a divorced, single mom. I’ve been a single mom officially for 5 years. Prior to that, I was married for 11 years, but for all intents and purposes, still a single mom.
I’m female. I’m a lifelong North Dakota resident. My son is on the autism spectrum, and as a single mom, I run into opinions about people like me; well, I run into assumptions.
I work. I’ve worked since I was old enough to work. I’ve been everything from a cocktail waitress to a finance manager. I have a college degree in communications. To the best of my knowledge, I have the only female-run North Dakota political blog. It’s no big deal. Anyone could do it, but I like to think my perspective is different. Being a mom to a boy with asperger’s is eye-opening. It forces me to look at everything differently so I can see things through my boy’s eyes. Being a working woman born in the 70’s and raised thinking there are no limits has made me wonder what the hell has happened in this country politically. As far as I know, the only differences between women and men are that I have two X chromosomes and they have XY chromosomes. That’s what I was taught.
I came into the world socialized to do whatever I wanted. I came into this world and was raised to believe I could be anyone I wanted to be. Over the course of the past 45 years, I’ve come to realize many things. Among them:
I have more value to society if I keep my mouth shut and do as told. I am not to have opinions on politics. I should (by social standards) be so busy with husband and children that I have no time to pay attention to my rights as a human being. If I do pay attention and have opinions and speak them, I’m not being a good wife and mother.
I really can’t be anyone I want to be and be acceptable. I can try, but will be shut out at every turn. I’ll be humiliated for having an opinion and a mind. That’s not my job. At least not by the society I’ve been raised in.
I can’t make anything better for me and those like me unless I’m willing to not give a damn about 1 and 2.
Do I think I matter? Yes. Do I think everyone matters? Yes. Do I think politics and voting is really important? Yes. Do I think my son matters? Yes.
I’m just this chick, ya’ll. I think a lot of things going on in the country are bullshit. I’m talking about it. I love North Dakota and I think it can be better.
Here are a few assumptions that have been made about me when I share an opinion:
Single mom. Divorced. Bitter. Nope. I followed along with what I was socialized to believe. Unfortunately, my mind had other plans.
Single mom, kid with special needs, she wants a free ride, she’s on welfare and food stamps. She wants a handout. Nope. I worked three jobs through college because I knew I could do better than cocktail waitress. Nobody, but nobody believed I could make it. I proved them wrong and took pride in doing so.
Sexual assault survivor: three times! I am. The assumption is if it really happened, you’re too broken to care about anything else. NOT true! I’m not sure where the resilience comes from, but I have it!
She says too much. She’s nuts! She shouldn’t be saying anything.
So, I believe. every little thing I’ve seen, lived though, observed; I believe every little thing whether socially imposed or not, has led me to this. Yes, I will speak for you because I realize some are still too afraid. Yes, I am not afraid of challenging the way it’s always been. Yes, I live in North Dakota. Yes, I believe getting personal and having the ability to really communicate can potentially change the world. It’s not scary to get personal until someone says it’s scary. And that person has an agenda. I’m not afraid.
Yes. I may be mad; bonkers; but you know? All the best people are.
So, there you have it. I’m a chick. I’m a mom, I’m a college graduate. I just paid off my student loans myself last year. I was raised with different beliefs. I had a mom that believed I could do anything and a dad who loved me and my brain, but told me I should just be a model or marry a rich man. At the end of the day, they both told me: “Be yourself. If you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, you need to just do what you feel is right.”